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My Attendents and Me Before the Ceremony

Sunday, July 20, 2008

How much Does a Wedding Cost? Tips on Determining Your Wedding Budget

There are all different size weddings and likewise there are all different size wedding budgets. We set out thinking we would spend somewhere between $15K and $20K on our wedding. I didn't realize until just sitting down and adding it all up that we truly spent just over $50K on our wedding altogether. Holy cow! No wonder we are still paying for it!

If you don't have that kind of budget for your special day, don't panic. You can have a nice wedding celebration without spending as much as we did. In fact, we know a couple who spent less than $10K and had a very lovely wedding. The difference is, you will be doing a lot more work yourself. If you do go that route, it's a lot more work and stress but will be much easier on your wallet.

Below is a breakdown of how much we spent on various parts of our wedding so that you can get a good starting point for your wedding budget. I've also added tips under each item that will help save money on your wedding. Once you start seeing the big bills from wedding vendors, it's easy to start feeling like "what's a few more dollars here and there" but the reality of it is that every little bit counts and will affect the bottom line.

Invitations 1%
Included Invitations, RSVP cards, Envelopes, and Stamps.
* Save money by printing your own invitations! DIY Invitation packets can be ordered online.
Wedding Coordinator 3% (read my blog about wedding planners)
Included our wedding coordinator helping us find vendors, negotiating contracts, running the wedding rehearsal, and handling all of the day of wedding coordination responsibilities.
*Save money by just having a day-of wedding coordinator! Or, if you are brave enough, have a friend or relative do the day-of coordination duties.
Wedding Attire 4.5%
Included Bride's gown and accessories, bridesmaids' dresses, flower girl's dress and accessories, groom's tuxedo, groomsmens' tuxes and ushers' tuxes.
*Save money by asking your bridesmaids, groomsmen, ushers, and flower girl's parents to pay for their attire. (that's pretty standard wedding etiquette anyways) Also, if there is a big bridal show in your area, you can typically sign up for the tuxes there and lock in a lower price. In our case, the groom's tux even came free.
Rings 13.5%
Included custom made engagement ring and wedding bands.
*Save money on pre-made rings. It's also a very good idea to buy the bride's engagement ring and wedding band as a set. (I recommend purchasing insurance, if the option is provided) Zales has a big selection of rings and offers insurance policies on their jewelry. We've bought several pieces of jewelry from them and have been very happy.
Rehearsal Dinner 3.5%
Included beverages, (non-alcoholic) appetizers, entrees, and dessert for 50 wedding guests.
*Save money by not providing alcohol to your guests. (you don't want everyone drunk the night before the wedding, anyways!)
Gifts for Everyone Involved 3%
Included the bride's and groom's gifts, gifts for our attendants, parents, and anyone else who helped significantly in giving us an amazing wedding day.
*Save money by keeping it simple. Gift cards are a nice idea because they require little gift wrap and are always appreciated.
Primping for the Bride on the Wedding Day .5%
Included hair, make-up, manicure, and pedicure for the bride.
*Save money by doing this on your own or having a friend do it for you!
Ceremony/Reception Site 8%
Included location rental plus needed dressing space, chairs, tables, and dance floor.
*Save money by using the same location for your ceremony and reception!
Minister's Gratuity .5%
Some officiants charge a fee for their services and others will ask that you make a donation to their congregation.
*Save money by asking the minister of the church you belong to to perform the ceremony.
Music for the Ceremony 1%
We had a string quartet play for our ceremony. (it was amazing)
*Save money by pre-recording your music on a CD.
Programs for the Ceremony < .5%
Included paper and printing costs.
*Save money by designing these yourself and printing them at home.
Entertainment for Guests Between the Ceremony and Reception .5%
We had a mariachi band play for 45 minutes after our ceremony to entertain our guests while we took pictures. Of all of the things my wedding guests commented on, this was by far their favorite because it kept them entertained while they waited for the reception to start.
*Save money by leaving this out if needed.
Flowers 8.5%
Included all bouquets, corsages, boutonnieres, ceremony decorations, reception decorations, centerpieces, and flowers on my bride's cake. The total cost also included delivery and set-up.
*Save money by doing your own flowers or having a friend do them for you. You can order your flowers online. Try the ProFlowers Roses Collection!
Photography 9.5%
Included bridal portraits, wedding ceremony and wedding reception coverage as well as our wedding album.
*Save money by hiring a photographer who shoots in digital format.
Videography 3%
Included coverage and production of the wedding video.
*Save money by including this in your photographer's services if they are able to do so.
Caterer 15%
Included pre-reception hors-douvres, full dinner buffet, and full bar service.
*Save money by buying your alcohol wholesale if you have the option.
Cakes 2%
Included cake tastings, bride's cake, groom's cake, delivery, and set-up.
*Save money by having a local grocery store make the cake. Same grocery stores can do a pretty good job.
DJ 3.5%
Included service at our reception and coordination of the reception as well.
*Save money by replacing your DJ with an Ipod loaded with all of your favorite songs.
Favors 1%
Included small tin boxes and single colored M&Ms for 150 wedding guests.
*Save money by ordering your favors online. At myweddingfavors.com, enter coupon code SAVE10 to receive 10% on orders over $150.
Transportation .5%
Included one-way service from our reception to the airport.
*Save money by asking a friend with a nice car to drive you away.
Parking for Our Guests .5%
Included parking vouchers for 150 wedding guests.
*Save money by either selecting a location with free parking or having your guests pay for their parking.
Honeymoon 15%
Included first-class travel, hotel accommodations, food, and activities in Honolulu, Hawaii.
*Save money by flying coach and by staying at an all-inclusive resort.
Gown and Bouquet Preservation 1%
Included cleaning of the gown, preservation of the gown, and preservation of the bouquet.
*Save money by opting not to do this. Some brides sell their gown on eBay after the wedding.
Miscellaneous 1.5%
Included the small stuff like disposable cameras, the unity candle, cake servers, marriage licence, guest book, bubbles, thank you cards, etc.
*Save money by buying what you can online all at once. You can use the offer that I showed above. Also, at a lot of online retailers, if you have a larger order, shipping will sometimes be waived.

That's it! One thing to note is that the the figures shown above included gratuity and taxes. Depending on what you may want, your wedding budget may be very different from ours. Another thing to think about is that our wedding was in Dallas, Texas. I'm not sure how much our same wedding would have cost in other parts of the country.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

To Wedding Planner or Not to Wedding Planner

My husband and I both work full-time jobs and we didn't think we could handle all of the planning and details on our own. We decided to hire a wedding planner to help us out with all of the wedding details. We had worked so hard on planning our wedding up until we hired her and were totally exausted. I can't tell you how excited I was to be able to relax and let a professional take care of the rest.

Unfortunately, our wedding coordinator experience was not 100% satisfactory.

We sprung for her ultimate package, which cost us $1,700. She promised to help us negotiate contracts, stay on our budget, as well as take care of all of our rehearsal and day-of duties.

Really, I found her more more annoying than anything else. For one, she helped us totally blow our budget by selling us her expensive wedding invitations (which were a total disaster) and personalized favors that she sold on the side. We later found out that you can get the same favors for less than half of what she was selling them to us on myweddingfavors.com


It was pretty obvious that she didn't know much about some of her vendors because I made it very clear that I needed all my bridesmaids' hair done as well as my own and the stylist that she booked me with could only do my hair and one other girl. By the time I found out, it was almost too late to book appointments for all of us somewhere else. I later found out that it was her own hair stylist that she had originally booked me with.

Another thing was, rather than negotiating contracts on our behalf, she just gave us names and numbers of her friends in the industry. She would always say "make sure and tell them you are my bride." All I would hear when I did this was "Oh, tell her hello!" As it turned out her vendors were not a bargain nor did we get any "friend" prices.

There was also an occasion when she pretended she didn't remember setting up a meeting and totally stood us up when we were supposed to be going over the final details. Now, I am a pretty understanding person, but when I am paying someone so that they can use their "amazing organizational skills" to help plan my wedding day, it doesn't impress me when you can't manage your time correctly.

We had also hired a great DJ. (we found him at the bridal show, not through our coordinator) He had our reception organized so that as many of our guests would stay engaged as possible. Right after we finished taking our pictures, she rushed over to me and insisted that my bride's cake was "melting" and that we should go ahead and do the toasts right away.(the cake was not supposed to be cut until well after our dinner was served) When we all got into the room and over to the cake, it was totally fine. I have a feeling that she was a little intimidated by the DJ (because he clearly was better at coordinating) and I also felt like she was a little upset to work with someone that she hadn't recommended. I think half of our guests left right after the toasts.

On top of all of these issues, during the reception, our photographer was just loafing around. I found my coordinator hanging out with her husband and asked her to say something because he was missing the whole reception just sitting on the sidelines! She mumbled something that she had already mentioned something to him. We barely got any shots from our reception and I will always resent that.

OK, so I gave you all of the bad news first. Our planner (contrary to how you may feel now) did have some redeeming qualities and was not a complete dud.

For one thing, she did a fantastic job with our wedding rehearsal and completely took care of everything. She even came to dinner (as an invited guest) and helped run the show there too. She was extremely helpful and kept us from having to lift a finger.

Also, it is true that I did like some of her vendors. The florist that she refereed us to did such a phenomenal job that I wished we could have had a picture of every flower in the room. All of my bridesmaids and guests were just as impressed.

She was also especially useful on the day of the wedding making sure that all of our vendors made it to our location on time and that everything was in place. When I showed up with the girls from getting our hair done, I couldn't have been more pleased. Everything was set up the way I had wanted. It was such a dream come true.

Finally, she helped immensely after we left, which is something that a lot of people probably don't think about. Once you ride off in your fancy limo, (in our case it was a beautiful 1960's Bentley) someone has to be there to make sure all of your belongings and gifts go home with the right people. In our case, our ceremony and reception were in a historic building and we were required to leave the place spotless or forfeit a sizable deposit. I don't think we would have made it without her.

Looking back on the whole event, my conclusion is that you will probably need someone to run your rehearsal and wedding day events. Even if you have a mother or sister who has the time, someone with experience in planning weddings and running them is very beneficial. Plus, you might wind up scratching your mom's eyes out which won't look good in the pictures.

My word of caution is to be very selective when you choose your wedding planner. Make sure and prepare questions that relate to your wedding and your wants so that you can find out if the planner can give you the day of your dreams.

Also, interview several wedding coordinators. This will help you get an idea of what people in your area charge for comparable services. Also, make sure you sign a contract that explicitly spells out the coordinator's responsibilities. That way you won't have any unexpected surprises once you have already committed to someone.

I hope this was helpful. Good luck and happy wedding!

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Wedding Planning Timeline

Planning a wedding can be quite an overwhelming experience! With so many things to research and plan, who wouldn't be stressed out?

I happen to love making plans. I live and die by my to-do lists and my day planner (yes, I am very old-school) is my best friend. That said, even with more than a year to get it all together, planning my wedding was at times very taxing.

To help keep you from pulling your hair out, (you'll need it later for your "I Do" updo!) here is a timeline/checklist of things that I found helpful while planning my wedding;

1st things 1st!
*Get organized! Buy a notebook with sections for music, caterer and other categories and a calendar so you can keep track of everything.
*Come up with a budget.
*Decide on the wedding basics. Will it be formal or informal, indoors or outdoors, day or night, in-town or destination, etc.

9 – 12 months out
*Set the date .
*Check marriage license requirements, especially for a destination wedding.
*Decide if you will use a wedding planner.
*Book locations for ceremony and reception.
*Decide on an officiate.
*Decide on your attendants and invite them to participate.
*Put together that guest list.
*Create a wedding website if you want one. We did ours for free at the knot.com.
*Announce your engagement in the newspaper if you want to.
*Set up your gift registry (one of my favorite parts of the process!)
*Start shopping for your gown. You need to get on this ASAP. If your gown will be custom made, which many are, it can take 6 months or more!

6 – 9 months out
*Select and order invitations.
*Order and send save-the-date cards (this is optional but nice if there will be a lot of out-of-towners.
*Select and sign contracts with your vendors (florist, DJ, caterer, baker, photographer, videographer, etc.)
*Order your bridal gown and schedule fittings.
*Select your shoes and other accessories.
*Select bridesmaids dresses and schedule fittings.
*Schedule time off from work for last-minute preparations and your honeymoon.
*Book flights, hotel rooms and other transportation for your honeymoon.
*Book your wedding-day hair appointment and makeup appointment if desired.
*Finalize the guest list.
*Set dates for bridal showers and other parties, if your attendants offer to throw them.
*As gifts start to roll in, start sending thank you note immediately!

4 – 6 months out
*Schedule the rehearsal with your officiate and notify key people.
*Reserve the rehearsal dinner site and decide on a menu (or remind the hosts to do so). Do the same for the morning-after brunch, if you’re having one.
*Book a hotel room for the night of the wedding.
*Arrange day-of transportation for you and your groom, your attendants, and others who will need it.
*Prepare directions to the ceremony and reception for guests.
*Book a calligrapher to address envelopes, if you would like.
*If you plan to travel abroad for the wedding or honeymoon, secure passports and visas, and schedule shots, if needed.

2 – 4 months out
*Order wedding bands and have them engraved and sized.
*Finalize all decorations for the ceremony and reception.
*Reserve any rental items you plan to use, such as tables, chairs, linens or tents.
*Select what the groom and groomsmen will wear.
*Order favors for guests.
*Shop for attendants gifts.

2 months out
*Mail the wedding invitations.
*Schedule a tasting with your caterer and finalize the menu.
*Arrange any wedding weekend activities you’re planning.
*Choose your ceremony music; create a “must-play” and “don’t play” lists for the DJ or band.
*Create a shot list of people and events for your photographer and/or videographer.
*Have programs, menus and escort cards printed if required.
*Buy a guest book, if desired.
*Confirm that your bridesmaids have their dresses, shoes, and accessories and have done any needed alterations.
*Arrange for a pre-ceremony changing area for the bridal party.
*Send a wedding announcement to local newspapers, if desired.
*Update your registry and add items if it's needed.
*Pay deposits to confirm you honeymoon plans.

6 weeks out
*Mail invitations for brunch and rehearsal dinner.
*Visit your hairstylist and makeup artist for a practice run.

1 month out
*Coordinate ceremony and reception responsibilities with your attendants.
*Confirm wedding-day details with all vendors.
*Write your vows, if you are planning to write your own.
*Obtain your marriage licenses and designate a witness.
*Go to your final dress fitting and bring all accessories.
*Ask someone to distribute programs at the ceremony.

2 weeks out
*Have your hair cut. If you dye or highlight your hair, refresh the color too.
*Contact any guests who still haven’t responded.
*Create a seating chart for dinner, if seating will be assigned.
*Confirm honeymoon reservations and share your itinerary with someone in case of an emergency.
*Ask a friend to look after your home while you’re away.

1 week out
*Arrange for your dress to be picked up or delivered.
*Ask someone you trust to pick up the dress and tux from your hotel the day after the wedding if you are leaving immediately for your honeymoon (someone will have to drop off the tux if it's a rental)
*Break in your shoes. (You will thank me for this one!)
*Provide your caterer with a final head count.
*Distribute a telephone contact list and directions to the ceremony and reception to your families and attendants.
*Organize vendor payments and other fees (including tips) that need to be distributed the day of the wedding.
*Pack for your honeymoon.

The Wedding Day
*Eat breakfast.
*Have luggage delivered to your hotel, if needed.
*Get hair and makeup done.
*Get Dressed.
*Move your engagement ring to your right hand.

After the wedding
*Send thank-you notes.
*Return gifts, if necessary.
*If you are changing your name, do it as soon as you can.
*Order wedding photos.
*Have your gown dry-cleaned and preserved.
*have your bouquet preserved.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

My Wedding Day was the Best Day of My Life

My Husband and I were married this past March and our wedding day was just perfect. It was a day devoted entirely to me, and I loved it! But the wedding day wasn't the only part that was fun, the time leading up to my wedding was one of the best times of my life.

The journey to plan the biggest day of our lives started more than a year before the actual wedding on Christmas Eve when my now husband, then boyfriend, proposed to me. The planning process was a lot of fun for me. For one thing, I love to plan things and having more than a year to get everything right really helped.

That doesn't mean that it wasn't stressful too. Some of the decisions were hard to make and it was hard to stick to a budget. We ended going way over and are still paying for it now. That doesn't mean that I wouldn't do it all over again because we will have the memories of that day (and let's not forget the honeymoon too) for the rest of our life.

This blog will be devoted to all things wedding and wedding planning from what to ask your photographer, to time lines and checklists that you should follow on the road to your wedding, to gifts for your attendants and everything in between. Our wedding was in Dallas, Texas, so if you are planning a wedding or reception here, feel free to ask questions - I would be happy to talk about any of my vendors and the ones I loved (and the ones I didn't love as much).





Wedding Invitations - great selection





Low price guarantee at MyWeddingFavors.com





Bridesmaid Gifts 'amp' Wedding Shower Favors





Bridal Jewelry