To Wedding Planner or Not to Wedding Planner

My husband and I both work full-time jobs and we didn't think we could handle all of the planning and details on our own. We decided to hire a wedding planner to help us out with all of the wedding details. We had worked so hard on planning our wedding up until we hired her and were totally exausted. I can't tell you how excited I was to be able to relax and let a professional take care of the rest.

Unfortunately, our wedding coordinator experience was not 100% satisfactory.

We sprung for her ultimate package, which cost us $1,700. She promised to help us negotiate contracts, stay on our budget, as well as take care of all of our rehearsal and day-of duties.

Really, I found her more more annoying than anything else. For one, she helped us totally blow our budget by selling us her expensive wedding invitations (which were a total disaster) and personalized favors that she sold on the side. We later found out that you can get the same favors for less than half of what she was selling them to us on myweddingfavors.com


It was pretty obvious that she didn't know much about some of her vendors because I made it very clear that I needed all my bridesmaids' hair done as well as my own and the stylist that she booked me with could only do my hair and one other girl. By the time I found out, it was almost too late to book appointments for all of us somewhere else. I later found out that it was her own hair stylist that she had originally booked me with.

Another thing was, rather than negotiating contracts on our behalf, she just gave us names and numbers of her friends in the industry. She would always say "make sure and tell them you are my bride." All I would hear when I did this was "Oh, tell her hello!" As it turned out her vendors were not a bargain nor did we get any "friend" prices.

There was also an occasion when she pretended she didn't remember setting up a meeting and totally stood us up when we were supposed to be going over the final details. Now, I am a pretty understanding person, but when I am paying someone so that they can use their "amazing organizational skills" to help plan my wedding day, it doesn't impress me when you can't manage your time correctly.

We had also hired a great DJ. (we found him at the bridal show, not through our coordinator) He had our reception organized so that as many of our guests would stay engaged as possible. Right after we finished taking our pictures, she rushed over to me and insisted that my bride's cake was "melting" and that we should go ahead and do the toasts right away.(the cake was not supposed to be cut until well after our dinner was served) When we all got into the room and over to the cake, it was totally fine. I have a feeling that she was a little intimidated by the DJ (because he clearly was better at coordinating) and I also felt like she was a little upset to work with someone that she hadn't recommended. I think half of our guests left right after the toasts.

On top of all of these issues, during the reception, our photographer was just loafing around. I found my coordinator hanging out with her husband and asked her to say something because he was missing the whole reception just sitting on the sidelines! She mumbled something that she had already mentioned something to him. We barely got any shots from our reception and I will always resent that.

OK, so I gave you all of the bad news first. Our planner (contrary to how you may feel now) did have some redeeming qualities and was not a complete dud.

For one thing, she did a fantastic job with our wedding rehearsal and completely took care of everything. She even came to dinner (as an invited guest) and helped run the show there too. She was extremely helpful and kept us from having to lift a finger.

Also, it is true that I did like some of her vendors. The florist that she refereed us to did such a phenomenal job that I wished we could have had a picture of every flower in the room. All of my bridesmaids and guests were just as impressed.

She was also especially useful on the day of the wedding making sure that all of our vendors made it to our location on time and that everything was in place. When I showed up with the girls from getting our hair done, I couldn't have been more pleased. Everything was set up the way I had wanted. It was such a dream come true.

Finally, she helped immensely after we left, which is something that a lot of people probably don't think about. Once you ride off in your fancy limo, (in our case it was a beautiful 1960's Bentley) someone has to be there to make sure all of your belongings and gifts go home with the right people. In our case, our ceremony and reception were in a historic building and we were required to leave the place spotless or forfeit a sizable deposit. I don't think we would have made it without her.

Looking back on the whole event, my conclusion is that you will probably need someone to run your rehearsal and wedding day events. Even if you have a mother or sister who has the time, someone with experience in planning weddings and running them is very beneficial. Plus, you might wind up scratching your mom's eyes out which won't look good in the pictures.

My word of caution is to be very selective when you choose your wedding planner. Make sure and prepare questions that relate to your wedding and your wants so that you can find out if the planner can give you the day of your dreams.

Also, interview several wedding coordinators. This will help you get an idea of what people in your area charge for comparable services. Also, make sure you sign a contract that explicitly spells out the coordinator's responsibilities. That way you won't have any unexpected surprises once you have already committed to someone.

I hope this was helpful. Good luck and happy wedding!